A Slight Wal-Mart Rant

Those of you who knew me six years ago know that I never had anything good to say about Wal-Mart. Part of this intense dislike was the fact that I was at school studying urban planning, where we discuss things like how Wal-Mart moves into small towns and basically blows all the small local businesses away and kills vibrant downtowns. Blah, blah, blah. I know that Andrew just loved being stuck in the car with Hans and me while we bickered about Wal-Mart. Right Andrew?

Another reason I disliked Wal-Mart was work related. They are hell to deal with if you are a construction contractor. They expected the company I worked for to drop everything to run to fix things at their stores, even if the store was an eight-hour drive away. They insisted that we do strange things to their invoices, like highlight different things in different colors and seal the envelopes with the congealed blood of doves. My bosses all kowtowed to the mighty powers at Wal-Mart. God, how I loathed them. My bosses AND Wal-Mart.

I just felt the need to get that out. This rant isn't exactly about Wal-Mart. It's more about how stupidly litigious our society is. Most days, I am able to deal with the insanity, but yesterday, I just about blew my lid.

Lately, every time we go into Wal-Mart (or even Target, every big box is jumping on the bandwagon), the greeter reminds us that Josiah is not allowed in the big area of the cart and is not allowed to stand on the back of the cart to ride. Every. Single. Time.

All because somewhere in some Wal-Mart, some mother let her kid do that, the kid fell off and bumped his head on a bin of $14.88 Dora the Explorer beach towels, and the indignant mother decided that she'd sue Wal-Mart over it. Why in the world didn't anyone warn her that little Myckaeylaehh* could get hurt doing that?

OK, I don't know if this is really what happened. Maybe there was just a little accident that caused WM to step up "security" on this issue. Isn't it usually the case that the reason these things get implemented is because legal action was taken/threatened?

It just makes me a little hot. I mean, why can't we, as parents, just take responsibility for our children's actions? And our actions, as parents? Why can't I decide if it's OK for my kid to ride on the back of the cart, as kids have been doing since the shopping cart was invented? Do I need to sign a disclaimer or something? I mean, dang.

* Otherwise known as Mikayla. I could write a whole 'nother post on the crazy way that parents invent new and exciting spellings for perfectly good names. Peder and Sarah, I'm really sorry if this was on your short list. In any derivation. Really.

Comments

Sarita said…
Heh, heh, you are soooooo lucky there is already a Makayla on my side of the family. (I think that's how they spelled it. Obviously we're very close)

J/K

I'm not crazy about u-neek spellings either (it's amazing I gave Peder a chance)
Peder said…
Firstly, do you really think we should be taking responsibility for ourselves? Seriously? Not in John Edwards America!
Secondly, I couldn't be happier with my non-trad spelling.
Brian said…
I walk into Wal-mart and my pulse goes up..
They don't yell at Chad at Target when I stand in the cart. Maybe it is regional.
Badger said…
Well, we all know about Scuba's Wal-Mart Incident, Summer 2005. I'm not sure we've been back since then.
Just want you to know, I had Sam in the front of the cart at Hy-Vee yesterday, NOT BUCKLED IN. It looked really uncomfortable, so I let him ride free.
Not one Hy-Vee worker stopped me.
Badger said…
Oh, forgot this...could you do a ranting post about weird spellings of names? That irks me, too.
Peder doesn't even count as weird, because a person can easily tell what his name is.
Example: "Emigh"...which is "AMY". What the?!
Hopefully this doesn't offend too many people.
MamaD4 said…
Yes, that's what I'm driving at, not trying to insult something that is (blessedly) a little different. Parents who make a normal name almost unpronouncable. It's setting a kid up for years of frustration. The worst I ever saw was AlyxZandyr. That's not THAT bad, but still, can you imagine this guy trying to spell his name out to people? It's like having the last name we grew up with...

And again, not meaning to insult something that is a little different. There are enough Tiffanys, Britneys, Kaylas, etc. in the world already (and their horribly deformed spellings)!

I'll bet Sarah knows some good ones from teaching!
Sarita said…
ROTFLMAO! Brian!
But we all know you're just doing it so when you do fall, you can take Target DOWN, and live like kings.

(I was in Target today and noticed that there are plenty of kids riding in the cart area)
Sarita said…
I think my favorite was "Trashawnda"
Every time I read it The "trash" part just jumped off the page. Poor girl. If only mom had given her an apostrophe between the A and the S.
Peder said…
So we should avoid Mxzyptlk? (And of course Kltpyzxm.)
Hans said…
I was watching Jeopardy about a month ago and in Final Jeopardy the guy's answer was 'Who is Kebert Xela?' Apparently the guy got the idea from Family Guy - if you get Alex to say his name backwards, he gets sent to the fifth dimension. That's what he told Alex right there, too. Too funny.
Alfred T. Mahan said…
Given that my name is actually pronounced "Torvald" (I just tell people it's pronounced "Andrew" to simplify matters), I sympathize with children whose parents give them bizarre names.

Oh, the memories that have stirred of the dreaded Big Box Debates! Of course, not having small children, I can't speak to the problems of the shopping cart, but believe you me, I can wholeheartedly (or at least as wholeheartedly as I can, given my medical history) agree that we have become far too overlawyered as a society. I know this to my everlasting irritation.

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