Classified

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I read our local paper every day. For the last week or so, this ad in the classifieds under the "Person to Person" section has caught my eye:

"Looking for a strong single Man to protect petite woman in case of Zombie uprising! Must be good with chainsaw, motorcycle and have Ninja skills. Ages 40ish-50. No weirdoes please."

It makes me laugh every single time.

I wish this petite lady all the luck in the world finding a man to fill these specifications. And I'm guessing she's going to get a few weird ones, don't you?

Comments

Peder said…
There should be something about shotguns too.
December 19, 2008 at 2:28:00 AM GMT+1
MamaD4 said…
Good point, all of the zombie movies I've seen include shotguns. That way, the killer doesn't have to get as close to the zombie as a chainsaw or ninja skills would require. Because really, who wants to get close to a zombie?
December 19, 2008 at 7:55:00 AM GMT+1
Anonymous said…
I don't think that my chainsaw would make a very good weapon because if you are using it and it dies you won't get it started for an hour or so. Not good if attacked by zombies, I'm thinking. Plus I would have to see this petite woman first.
December 19, 2008 at 5:17:00 PM GMT+1
Alfred T. Mahan said…
Thought: suppose the zombie uprising happens. Would you want something dependent on ammunition not easily obtained/reloaded (shotguns), and also, wouldn't nature just sort of take its course and the bodies rot, get eaten by maggots from the inside, etc.?

Also, wouldn't petroleum products be really useful in such a situation? Burning zombies would ignite other zombies, after all.
December 19, 2008 at 10:47:00 PM GMT+1
Sturgeon Family said…
Are you kidding me? Wow, I wonder what kind of reactions and contacts she has received.
December 20, 2008 at 4:49:00 AM GMT+1
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