Hans, The Patron Saint of Skunks

So...our very nice landlady very nicely had some nice men come over a couple of days ago and clean up the filthy koi pond. They made a great big mess, but they did create a very soothing little waterfall feature, so I guess the two cancel each other out. We are now able to listen to the calming tinkle of running water on a constant basis. Believe it or not, the koi (a she koi) was still alive and thriving under all that scum and muck.

Today we were heading out the door to have lunch at Chilis when we started smelling du odeour de skunk. No big deal. It's a regular occurence at our house. We have theorized that there is a family of skunks (in addition to the family of possums) that live underneath the house. When they spray, the scent is powerful. Besides which, as I have mentioned before, skunks just roam the streets of Newport. And have resided in our garage en masse.

Luckily, Hans happened to peek out at the pond, and seeing that the pond is no longer covered by a thick layer of scum, he was able to ascertain the source of the stench. Our little friend that you see above had either: (a) desired a drink from the waterfall feature; or (b) desired some yummy orange lady koi. Either way, Pepe Le Pew had fallen into the water and was unable to scrabble up the slippery sides. Mon Dieu!

I immediately tried to find a number for animal control, but Hans calmly went outside, got the pond skimmer (a pole with a net for scooping off leaves, obviously not used very much here) and simply skimmed Pepe out of the pond. Pepe shook himself off and stood there for a minute while I cursed at him from the safety of the window and ordered him to betake himself elsewhere and never to darken our door again.

I wish that Pepe had listened, but alas, I was outside cleaning up our lawnchairs and he waddled out of the hedges. Dang! Skunks are obviously stupid and stinky. Pepe must be the patriarch or matriarch of the family who resides under the porch, because I watched him, he watched me, then he waddled back under the hedge and back under the porch lattice. I informed him in no uncertain terms that we have firearms and he'd best leave. Skunks have pretty small ears, so maybe he didn't hear me.

Anyway, thank goodness for my brave and compassionate husband. He reminded me (being the modest, un-egotistical sort that he is) of his penchant for helping small animals in need. We remembered the time that he bravely lifted the grate off a storm sewer in St. Paul and went down to rescue a gaggle of ducklings while their mother quacked at the street level. Greta was there, too.

But the house still stinks. I think Pepe must have sprayed around the pond somewhere. I was positive that we all reeked at Chilis. They still served us...

PS: I should note that the orange thing in the photos is the koi.