Unfriending
Just "unfriended" all of my LTG ship organizations on Facebook and I'm feeling kind of good about that...I was always concious when posting on FB that the FRG president and the ombudsman could have access to my page.
Hans has had a good tour and it's almost over, just a couple more weeks to get through and he's done and starts going through the command school pipeline. Months and weeks and days of various schools all over the eastern seaboard. Then he will come back to Norfolk and wait until something happens to one of the COs out there...I am always thinking to myself "How awful to wish someone would screw up and get fired...", but I do.
I am tired of this ship and I'm glad that I officially have dumped it...one more function and we're done. I loved our COs and our first CO's wife. Lori was and is a fantastic mentor to many of us wives coming up through the ranks with our husbands. I count her as a friend as well and I was lucky to have her, if only for a few months. She will serve as a fantastic example of what TO do when my turn comes along. Second CO's wife...not so much. The only other experience of ship life I've had was in San Diego/Yokosuka (I don't like to outright mention ship names)...and we were very social--always having functions. I really felt like I knew the other spouses from the ship and a few of them are still good friends of mine.
LTG, not so much. I will attend Hans' hail and farewell only out of love and respect for him, otherwise I'm dreading it...I know exactly two wives and not even that well. I so want to get this over and done with and move forward. I feel sad, like I missed an opportunity to do something good for LTG. I tried--I attended all the FRG meetings up until a couple of months ago. I went to the few functions the wardroom had. Me being important to them just wasn't part of the plan, I guess. And I was not in a position to step forward into the shoes of the CO's wife--she never invited me to, though I doubt it's possible to be LESS interested in your husband's work than she is.
Ugh, can you tell I can't stand this woman? Seriously.
Sorry, a little grouchy this morning. All of you know that I take Valium to sleep...I don't really make it a secret. You all know that I'm a hot, tense mess half the time, right? No secrets. Anyway, I ran out of my scrip and wasn't able to get in to the pharmacy until today so I was taking Tylenol PM...Lord, I slept about four hours over the last three days. I'm not sure I should be driving the car today, I feel so punch-drunk. The PM makes my body tired, but not my brain, so my brain starts spiralling around like a cracked-up rodent in my skull. I try to lull myself by remembering how to drive from our house in Newport up to the commissary--something like that, slow and methodical, picturing details along the way. But inevitably, another idea pops in and then another and pretty soon I'm frustrated, tossing and turning. When I did sleep, I had incredible, vivid dreams. PM is like an hallucinogenic...seriously. Mushrooms have nothing on Tylenol PM. Try it if you want to have the strangest visions you've ever had.
Had to yell at the kids again this morning...argh, GOD. I know that I'm not the only mother rushing her kids out the door, packing lunches, combing hair, finding socks, zipping coats, reminding about homework...I know that there are other mothers who routinely flip out every morning. I think we just don't admit to each other that sometimes we are anything but stellar, you know? Well, I'm here to admit to y'all that I am less than stellar almost every morning and I hate it...I have no idea how to change it. I'm a very organized person, it's not that. I don't know what it is...I'm just tired of feeling like a crappy parent every morning when they go off, you know? Ugh.
It would help if they would start LISTENING to me...respecting our home and our belongings. It would help if they could perform their morning ritual without me behind them every step of the way. It would help if they would shut UP about having to: make their bed, wear clothes, brush their teeth, brush their hair every day (Josiah: WHYYYYY do we have to make our beds, we just sleep in them again every night!!?). It really makes me appreciate what a little asshole I probably was to my parents.
Thanks Mom. Thanks, Dad. I can only hope that someday, my children will appreciate the fact that I didn't let them go to school in PJs with their hair uncombed.
Stopped by the house today after I picked up my precious Valium. It's even dirtier and messier than it was before, but the furnace is running and there was a lone dude there working. Mike. He reassured me that I will see big changes next week as they start putting up wallboard and clean up a little more. I measured a few windows for blinds. Each window was a different size. I measured four times since I'm so off my head today.
Have chosen: tile for kitchen, half bath, laundry. Cabinet knobs. Carpet for third floor. Must choose: faucets.
Off to get Will...sorry this post is such a bizarre conglomeration. Maybe I'm dreaming?!
Hans has had a good tour and it's almost over, just a couple more weeks to get through and he's done and starts going through the command school pipeline. Months and weeks and days of various schools all over the eastern seaboard. Then he will come back to Norfolk and wait until something happens to one of the COs out there...I am always thinking to myself "How awful to wish someone would screw up and get fired...", but I do.
I am tired of this ship and I'm glad that I officially have dumped it...one more function and we're done. I loved our COs and our first CO's wife. Lori was and is a fantastic mentor to many of us wives coming up through the ranks with our husbands. I count her as a friend as well and I was lucky to have her, if only for a few months. She will serve as a fantastic example of what TO do when my turn comes along. Second CO's wife...not so much. The only other experience of ship life I've had was in San Diego/Yokosuka (I don't like to outright mention ship names)...and we were very social--always having functions. I really felt like I knew the other spouses from the ship and a few of them are still good friends of mine.
LTG, not so much. I will attend Hans' hail and farewell only out of love and respect for him, otherwise I'm dreading it...I know exactly two wives and not even that well. I so want to get this over and done with and move forward. I feel sad, like I missed an opportunity to do something good for LTG. I tried--I attended all the FRG meetings up until a couple of months ago. I went to the few functions the wardroom had. Me being important to them just wasn't part of the plan, I guess. And I was not in a position to step forward into the shoes of the CO's wife--she never invited me to, though I doubt it's possible to be LESS interested in your husband's work than she is.
Ugh, can you tell I can't stand this woman? Seriously.
Sorry, a little grouchy this morning. All of you know that I take Valium to sleep...I don't really make it a secret. You all know that I'm a hot, tense mess half the time, right? No secrets. Anyway, I ran out of my scrip and wasn't able to get in to the pharmacy until today so I was taking Tylenol PM...Lord, I slept about four hours over the last three days. I'm not sure I should be driving the car today, I feel so punch-drunk. The PM makes my body tired, but not my brain, so my brain starts spiralling around like a cracked-up rodent in my skull. I try to lull myself by remembering how to drive from our house in Newport up to the commissary--something like that, slow and methodical, picturing details along the way. But inevitably, another idea pops in and then another and pretty soon I'm frustrated, tossing and turning. When I did sleep, I had incredible, vivid dreams. PM is like an hallucinogenic...seriously. Mushrooms have nothing on Tylenol PM. Try it if you want to have the strangest visions you've ever had.
Had to yell at the kids again this morning...argh, GOD. I know that I'm not the only mother rushing her kids out the door, packing lunches, combing hair, finding socks, zipping coats, reminding about homework...I know that there are other mothers who routinely flip out every morning. I think we just don't admit to each other that sometimes we are anything but stellar, you know? Well, I'm here to admit to y'all that I am less than stellar almost every morning and I hate it...I have no idea how to change it. I'm a very organized person, it's not that. I don't know what it is...I'm just tired of feeling like a crappy parent every morning when they go off, you know? Ugh.
It would help if they would start LISTENING to me...respecting our home and our belongings. It would help if they could perform their morning ritual without me behind them every step of the way. It would help if they would shut UP about having to: make their bed, wear clothes, brush their teeth, brush their hair every day (Josiah: WHYYYYY do we have to make our beds, we just sleep in them again every night!!?). It really makes me appreciate what a little asshole I probably was to my parents.
Thanks Mom. Thanks, Dad. I can only hope that someday, my children will appreciate the fact that I didn't let them go to school in PJs with their hair uncombed.
Stopped by the house today after I picked up my precious Valium. It's even dirtier and messier than it was before, but the furnace is running and there was a lone dude there working. Mike. He reassured me that I will see big changes next week as they start putting up wallboard and clean up a little more. I measured a few windows for blinds. Each window was a different size. I measured four times since I'm so off my head today.
Have chosen: tile for kitchen, half bath, laundry. Cabinet knobs. Carpet for third floor. Must choose: faucets.
Off to get Will...sorry this post is such a bizarre conglomeration. Maybe I'm dreaming?!
