From A Distance
It's 2:30 and the school nurse hasn't called all day.
So...the kids have been sick. Off and on, off and on. Just when I thought it was off, oh no--wait--it was back on. Got ya, Mom!
Oh, norovirus, you so funny! Nice joke!
Make no mistake, the kids were miserable, but just miserable enough to make life miserable for me. Hey, can I be 100% honest? I love my kids and would throw myself under a train for them, but...(looking around to make sure I'm alone)...I LIKE it when they go to school and get out of my hair for the better part of the day.
Shame on me, right? Shouldn't every moment with my children be like a wonderful fairytale that I never want to end?
Uh, no. No, it's not.
What makes me laugh is that every once in awhile, actually a lot in awhile, I think about homeschooling them. Seriously. I know that sentence, of all the humor I'm aiming for in this entry, will make you all laugh the most. Especially after I just admitted that I like them out of my hair during the day...
Anyway, wipe your streaming eyes, stop laughing and listen: norovirus is no fun. I am thankful that we seemed to have caught a strain that wasn't too nasty. The kids would each throw up (usually JUST before getting dressed to go to school), but wouldn't have a fever. Or they'd have a low-grade temp but no throwing up.
I got called by my new BFF, the school nurse not once, but twice last week. First time was to pick up Annika after lunch because of...well...I'm just going to leave it to your imagination and spare her any humiliation though I will say that thank the good Lord it was not copious. Thank God it also happened during recess and I was right across the street to pick her up. Damn norovirus.
I joked with the nurse "I'll bet NO one enjoys hearing from you!". I think she took me seriously because she looked a little hurt. I wouldn't do her job for all the tea in China. Not only were there kids like Annika in there, there were kids who had fallen in the mud and she was helping them clean up their pants.
So Annika came home to join Josiah, who had thrown up once in the morning and was now having a fine and dandy time reading all day in bed and pestering me to watch TV. Next day, I tried to send Josiah to school...nurse called me at 9:15, just as I crawled out of the shower.
Josiah had just thrown up and could I come and get him? He still had his backpack on. I ran over there with a wet head and told her "I hope I don't see YOU again for a long time". Haha! I joke. She didn't seem to find that one funny either...she's very sweet. Maybe I'm confusing her.
Oh, what else happened this week? Well, William made it to school both days, but was frustrating in that he cried his eyes out for his OLD classroom. I don't blame him--his new teachers don't give me the warm and fuzzies like the old ones did. Well, toughen up kid. He was fine after I left both time. Walking to pick him up (yes, I left the kids home alone--I was waiting for DCF to show up to put the cherry on top of my crappy norovirus sundae), I tripped over air and fell hard on my knees and palms. Dropped my phone.
No one saw, so that was good.
Which day did the dog have the craps on our nice Middle Eastern rug? I forget, but yeah--there was a day when I came down to find that Elsa had crapped all over our blue silk, hand-knotted rug. That was not a good moment. Called my husband and cried and ranted and swore and cried. He came home (!!!) and took the rug in to be professionally cleaned. And then he left me alone with a bunch of sick, ornery kids and a dog with the trots.
Oh, and I dropped my phone one last time and shattered the screen. That was fun. That's the second one in two years that I've wrecked, although to be fair, I am the one who sacrifices my phone for the kids to play on. The reason Hans' phone looks pristine is because only Hans touches Hans' phone. The irony: the Otterbox I had bought to protect the old one arrived that day in the mail. Oh, the humanity.
If you're wondering, I went with the 4. Siri sucks and is useless and I don't need a 5. Besides, the 4 was one cent.
Anyway, I know there was a lot more going on. Oh, I guess Hans was gone and came back on Wednesday evening, so I had that single-mother stress going on. I was having my pleasant occipital neuralgias, my "ice-pick" headaches for three of those days. I couldn't grocery shop because of all the sick kids laying around so we were eating butter and apples.
Luckily, we all survived and the kids are back in school today. No calls from my friend (I feel like sending her flowers, truly) the nurse. I got Will registered for 3-day preschool starting in September (it's a big deal, people--the standing in line, the getting of a slot), and I got a good workout in that included a few extra reps on the machines. Tonight, I get to hang with other XO/CO's wives (and I can now feel a little triumph that I will be staying amongst their ranks) and rant about random Navy stuff.
Happy Day to you all and may norovirus pass over your home. You might want to consider sacrificing a dove or something...just sayin'.
So...the kids have been sick. Off and on, off and on. Just when I thought it was off, oh no--wait--it was back on. Got ya, Mom!
Oh, norovirus, you so funny! Nice joke!
Make no mistake, the kids were miserable, but just miserable enough to make life miserable for me. Hey, can I be 100% honest? I love my kids and would throw myself under a train for them, but...(looking around to make sure I'm alone)...I LIKE it when they go to school and get out of my hair for the better part of the day.
Shame on me, right? Shouldn't every moment with my children be like a wonderful fairytale that I never want to end?
Uh, no. No, it's not.
What makes me laugh is that every once in awhile, actually a lot in awhile, I think about homeschooling them. Seriously. I know that sentence, of all the humor I'm aiming for in this entry, will make you all laugh the most. Especially after I just admitted that I like them out of my hair during the day...
Anyway, wipe your streaming eyes, stop laughing and listen: norovirus is no fun. I am thankful that we seemed to have caught a strain that wasn't too nasty. The kids would each throw up (usually JUST before getting dressed to go to school), but wouldn't have a fever. Or they'd have a low-grade temp but no throwing up.
I got called by my new BFF, the school nurse not once, but twice last week. First time was to pick up Annika after lunch because of...well...I'm just going to leave it to your imagination and spare her any humiliation though I will say that thank the good Lord it was not copious. Thank God it also happened during recess and I was right across the street to pick her up. Damn norovirus.
I joked with the nurse "I'll bet NO one enjoys hearing from you!". I think she took me seriously because she looked a little hurt. I wouldn't do her job for all the tea in China. Not only were there kids like Annika in there, there were kids who had fallen in the mud and she was helping them clean up their pants.
So Annika came home to join Josiah, who had thrown up once in the morning and was now having a fine and dandy time reading all day in bed and pestering me to watch TV. Next day, I tried to send Josiah to school...nurse called me at 9:15, just as I crawled out of the shower.
Josiah had just thrown up and could I come and get him? He still had his backpack on. I ran over there with a wet head and told her "I hope I don't see YOU again for a long time". Haha! I joke. She didn't seem to find that one funny either...she's very sweet. Maybe I'm confusing her.
Oh, what else happened this week? Well, William made it to school both days, but was frustrating in that he cried his eyes out for his OLD classroom. I don't blame him--his new teachers don't give me the warm and fuzzies like the old ones did. Well, toughen up kid. He was fine after I left both time. Walking to pick him up (yes, I left the kids home alone--I was waiting for DCF to show up to put the cherry on top of my crappy norovirus sundae), I tripped over air and fell hard on my knees and palms. Dropped my phone.
No one saw, so that was good.
Which day did the dog have the craps on our nice Middle Eastern rug? I forget, but yeah--there was a day when I came down to find that Elsa had crapped all over our blue silk, hand-knotted rug. That was not a good moment. Called my husband and cried and ranted and swore and cried. He came home (!!!) and took the rug in to be professionally cleaned. And then he left me alone with a bunch of sick, ornery kids and a dog with the trots.
Oh, and I dropped my phone one last time and shattered the screen. That was fun. That's the second one in two years that I've wrecked, although to be fair, I am the one who sacrifices my phone for the kids to play on. The reason Hans' phone looks pristine is because only Hans touches Hans' phone. The irony: the Otterbox I had bought to protect the old one arrived that day in the mail. Oh, the humanity.
If you're wondering, I went with the 4. Siri sucks and is useless and I don't need a 5. Besides, the 4 was one cent.
Anyway, I know there was a lot more going on. Oh, I guess Hans was gone and came back on Wednesday evening, so I had that single-mother stress going on. I was having my pleasant occipital neuralgias, my "ice-pick" headaches for three of those days. I couldn't grocery shop because of all the sick kids laying around so we were eating butter and apples.
Luckily, we all survived and the kids are back in school today. No calls from my friend (I feel like sending her flowers, truly) the nurse. I got Will registered for 3-day preschool starting in September (it's a big deal, people--the standing in line, the getting of a slot), and I got a good workout in that included a few extra reps on the machines. Tonight, I get to hang with other XO/CO's wives (and I can now feel a little triumph that I will be staying amongst their ranks) and rant about random Navy stuff.
Happy Day to you all and may norovirus pass over your home. You might want to consider sacrificing a dove or something...just sayin'.
