Yokosuka Gazette, 1/31/14
Hooray, the last day of January 2014! What a full month this has been...I'm glad that it's Friday and that we don't have any plans this weekend. Hans is leaving tomorrow for a nice little cruise, so it will be just the four of us. You know what that means: I get to drive the "fun" car!
Hey, it's the little things. And when you drive a 14-year-old minivan most days, driving a much more nimble and powerful little car is a great thing. Well, for me it is, anyway...
This week was busy with volunteering at Navy-Marine Corps. It was busy too, since it's coming close to payday and a lot of the younger people find themselves out of cash and in need of the quick-assist loan. I sat in on one of their classes this week, "Budget for Baby", designed to help first-time parents get financially ready for baby. After the class, the participants get a very nice "seabag" full of things for the baby, really everything they need with the exception of bottles, carseat and diapers. They want me to do the next class, so I'm studying up...
Josiah had a weird experience on Wednesday. He and his friend Edward were walking over to the park at their school (6 blocks from our house) when a man who was running made them stop, called them to him and yelled at them for swearing. He claims that they were saying s$%t and when they denied it, he called them liars, told them he is a 5th grade teacher at the school and asked them the names of their teachers. He then told them that he would be talking to their teachers about their bad behavior. Josiah immediately called me on Edward's phone, very upset. Edward called his mother (they are our neighbors). The teacher had run off and went into the school. I drove over to see what the deal was because Josiah was a little overexcited, but I didn't get to speak to the man in question.
We questioned both of the boys and both of them claim that they weren't swearing. They were talking about the ship. Both of them independently told us that they were talking about a girl on the playground whose father works on Edward's father's ship. I'm not saying that Josiah has never heard the word s$%t. Far from it. Would he use it? Probably, but he's very honest. Josiah is not my liar. He tells the truth and if he says he wasn't swearing, then he wasn't swearing. "Ship" could be misconstrued by someone running by. Edward swears up and and down that he wasn't cussing either. Both of them were disturbed by the way this guy yelled at them, called them liars and threatened to come into their class. At one point, he put his hand on Josiah. All of this happened off of school grounds.
Edward's mother and I both wrote to the principal and to their individual teachers. We had an e-mail back from the man, Mr. L, last night. Basically, he says that one of them was swearing and that, being a parent, he felt the need to discipline them. The rest of the letter is a diatribe about how of course, we parents would believe our children over an adult, that we always believe our children "can do no wrong" and thank God there are other parents out there to discipline our children since we won't do it, etc.
Wow, just...wow. I have no idea how to respond to this guy. And the worst part is that he's a 5th grade teacher...so there's a chance that we could end up dealing with him next year.
The principal is not involved because it happened (just) off of school grounds. There was no apology for scaring the boys. They didn't know him...I mean, we're pretty safe here on the base, but still...I don't want Josiah going near some strange man that is yelling at him or seems threatening.
Ugh, how I love these messy, sticky moments of parenthood. What to do? Respond to the e-mail, go to the school, ignore it and not get embroiled? I believe Josiah. He was very upset, especially at being called a liar when he denied swearing. I know that he isn't perfect and if I had been there, I would have disciplined him. And if I hear a kid his age swearing out in public, I would probably say something as well. Sigh.
Words of wisdom anyone?
I leave you with a few pictures from Kurihama Park from last Friday...
Hey, it's the little things. And when you drive a 14-year-old minivan most days, driving a much more nimble and powerful little car is a great thing. Well, for me it is, anyway...
This week was busy with volunteering at Navy-Marine Corps. It was busy too, since it's coming close to payday and a lot of the younger people find themselves out of cash and in need of the quick-assist loan. I sat in on one of their classes this week, "Budget for Baby", designed to help first-time parents get financially ready for baby. After the class, the participants get a very nice "seabag" full of things for the baby, really everything they need with the exception of bottles, carseat and diapers. They want me to do the next class, so I'm studying up...
Josiah had a weird experience on Wednesday. He and his friend Edward were walking over to the park at their school (6 blocks from our house) when a man who was running made them stop, called them to him and yelled at them for swearing. He claims that they were saying s$%t and when they denied it, he called them liars, told them he is a 5th grade teacher at the school and asked them the names of their teachers. He then told them that he would be talking to their teachers about their bad behavior. Josiah immediately called me on Edward's phone, very upset. Edward called his mother (they are our neighbors). The teacher had run off and went into the school. I drove over to see what the deal was because Josiah was a little overexcited, but I didn't get to speak to the man in question.
We questioned both of the boys and both of them claim that they weren't swearing. They were talking about the ship. Both of them independently told us that they were talking about a girl on the playground whose father works on Edward's father's ship. I'm not saying that Josiah has never heard the word s$%t. Far from it. Would he use it? Probably, but he's very honest. Josiah is not my liar. He tells the truth and if he says he wasn't swearing, then he wasn't swearing. "Ship" could be misconstrued by someone running by. Edward swears up and and down that he wasn't cussing either. Both of them were disturbed by the way this guy yelled at them, called them liars and threatened to come into their class. At one point, he put his hand on Josiah. All of this happened off of school grounds.
Edward's mother and I both wrote to the principal and to their individual teachers. We had an e-mail back from the man, Mr. L, last night. Basically, he says that one of them was swearing and that, being a parent, he felt the need to discipline them. The rest of the letter is a diatribe about how of course, we parents would believe our children over an adult, that we always believe our children "can do no wrong" and thank God there are other parents out there to discipline our children since we won't do it, etc.
Wow, just...wow. I have no idea how to respond to this guy. And the worst part is that he's a 5th grade teacher...so there's a chance that we could end up dealing with him next year.
The principal is not involved because it happened (just) off of school grounds. There was no apology for scaring the boys. They didn't know him...I mean, we're pretty safe here on the base, but still...I don't want Josiah going near some strange man that is yelling at him or seems threatening.
Ugh, how I love these messy, sticky moments of parenthood. What to do? Respond to the e-mail, go to the school, ignore it and not get embroiled? I believe Josiah. He was very upset, especially at being called a liar when he denied swearing. I know that he isn't perfect and if I had been there, I would have disciplined him. And if I hear a kid his age swearing out in public, I would probably say something as well. Sigh.
Words of wisdom anyone?
I leave you with a few pictures from Kurihama Park from last Friday...
There's a slide down his tail...I laughed for five minutes and the kids thought it was hilarious to be "sliding out of Godzilla's butt".
I love Japanese (and European) parks. Where would you see something like this in the US? Answer: nowhere.
Oooh, I'm so artsy...
Comments
If you are going to get involved in disciplining other people's kids, you gotta go at it with a caring, "Hey, I just want what is best for everyone involved" attitude. If you go at it like "I'm gonna teach these kids a lesson" then at best they will laugh at you later, and at worst you will traumatize a basically good kid.
Teaching 101: Good discipline comes from a strong relationship with the kids, not scaring the crap out of them.
And that park looks cool! I so wish we could come and play at the playground with you guys.